My problem with cross-dressers

09Mar09

As a disclaimer, I just want to say I have no problem with cross dressers. This post addresses those of the male variety who prefer ladies’ clothing. Each to his own, whatever makes you happy, however you feel most comfortable, etc etc. I have zero problem with a dude cross-dressing if he feels feminine. It’s all good. However, it does give me every right to diss your outfit choice, since you’re dressing in the type of clothing I wear.

This post was brought on by a cross-dresser I see around campus. Honestly, if you’re going to dress like a girl, do it well. Because the way this guy looks, he’s merely making a mockery out of female clothing and of cross-dressers, really. Read the magazines, find a book, something. But, the way he looks is not at ALL how any self-respecting female would dress.

So listen up all you guys who prefer the feminine lifestyle — I’m about to give you some helpful hints. Because seriously, half the time, you don’t look like a girl. You’re a grotesque parody.

Here are the rules:
1. Do SOMETHING with your hair. Listen, I don’t care if you wear a wig or go au natural, but no self-respecting girl grows their hair out and then cuts it herself unless she’s good at it. Don’t attempt cutting your hair if it’s going to end up looking like a 4-year-old did it. Oh, and use a brush. Seriously. If you’re going to look like a girl, you need to groom like a girl. Speaking of which…

2. Groom your brows. Most girls do some sort of shaping of their brows, normally by waxing. At the very least, a chick will pluck the stray hairs and rid themselves of the possibility of a converging brow.

3. Pick your shoes wisely. If it’s raining outside, no girl is going to wear stilettos around campus. If it’s an important event, like an interview or classy evening out, then we might risk it. But otherwise, seriously, it’s not worth the possibility of a broken ankle. Find some cute golashes and tuck in your jeans.

4. Look at what everyone else is wearing. I understand that, as a cross-dresser, you may want to appear overtly feminine. However, not even the most feminine, fashionable girl considers a long, khaki, twill skirt to be anywhere near ladylike. These sorts of skirts are appropriate for grannies and kindergarten teachers. Not people who want to look like a college-age girl. I would recommend considering a bohemian style skirt, as they’re just as floaty and feminine. Paired with a decent t-shirt, it’s a respectable free spirit sort of outfit. Beware of granny floral patterns, as well as soccer mom fashion. It’s not the look you should be going for.

5. As far as makeup goes, the more natural, the better. I’m a personal fan of eyeliner. It’s great stuff. But make sure you can put it on following the line of your eye. Poorly applied eye-liner is terrible to look at — it makes your eyes appear lopsided. And your lipstick: even you have to abide by skin tone rules. Hot pink doesn’t look good on many people. Try to go for a more neutral tone that matches the shade of your lips.

I don’t imagine I’ll get many cross-dressers perusing this blog, but really, it should be worth it to the few who do. I can respect a decent cross-dresser. But if you’re a bad one, I won’t feel bad at all for laughing.

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